6 Weeks

Originally written June 29, 2017

How Far Along: 6 weeks exactly, according to our first ultrasound yesterday. Based on my last period, 6 weeks 4 days.

Size of Baby: I'm pretty sure she said .27 cm, but I have no idea if that is right. It is tiny!!!! But it's heart was beating, which is just crazy to me. The heartbeat was 100 beats per minute, and we could hear it! (I just googled how big a 6 week baby is, and the bump.com says it's .25 inches. That is SO crazy to me.)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'm going to say my starting weight with this pregnancy is 160.0. On the day we found out I was pregnant, I didn't weigh myself. The day before, I weighed 162.5, the day after 160.5. I'm being SUPER real here, because this is the most I've weighed in my life. I'm hoping since I am heavier than where I like to be, which is between 145 and 150, that I won't gain TOO much weight with this pregnancy. I really don't want to go over 190.

Maternity Clothes: Nope. And this week I haven't felt nearly as bloated as I did the first week. The first week, I was having to unbutton some of my jeans during the day and definitely on the way home from work. I've started wearing dresses ALOT more. They are just more comfortable. I am on progesterone suppositories. And whenever I've taken progesterone, I've always gotten super bloated.

Movement: It's WAY too early to feel the baby. But I haven't had as many aches and twinges as I did last week, which is comforting in a way, because sometimes those feelings were a tad scary. But now that I know, it was the baby, I'd be ok with feeling them again occasionally :)

Whenever I have to pee really bad, my stomach starts hurting, like truly hurting. But as soon as I use the restroom the pain goes away.

Sleep: I slept like a rock last night after having that ultrasound done yesterday. I usually wake up between 11:45 and 12:15 to pee and again around 4:00. And I've been waking up without an alarm between 5-5:30.

What I Miss: I know I need to cut down on the hot dogs. But gosh darn it, that's what I'm craving. And I ate alot of tuna salad in the weeks leading up to finding out I was pregnant, and now I've learned I shouldn't eat more than one serving per week.

Cravings: Hot Dogs and Potato Salad. I also read today that you should avoid eating any salads from delis. I'm not exactly sure why, but that's a bummer.

Best Moment this Week: Seeing that little baby on the ultrasound screen and feeling Dave's hand grab mine with joy.

Moments with Dave this Week: After our ultrasound appointment, he ran to Starbucks, because they were having a buy one get one free, and he met me at Baskin Robbins. I just wanted 2 kids scoops, but the price was the same as a double, so I had him make me a double scoop of peanut butter and chocolate and pralines and cream :) Then we went home and talked alot and watched Patriot's Day. After the movie we took a super long walk. I ended up with 15,000 steps yesterday!

Milestones: First Bump Photo tonight!

What I'm Looking Forward To: Seeing my mom this weekend!

Favorite Quote from a Stranger this Week: Can't think of anything from a stranger. But I do have a funny quote from my OBGYN. When she walked into the ultrasound room, I told her "Dr. Martin, you have two very anxious people in here." And she said "and now, there are 3. I'm anxious too. This is scary and exciting stuff!" I loved her honesty. Let's get real, when a patient has had 2 miscarriages, and has never made it to the ultrasound stage, it is scary, for the patient, her husband, her loved ones and even her doctor. I'm guessing Dr. Martin does love me, because she has known me for 10 years!!!

What the Doctor Said This Week: She said to keep taking my prenatal and fish oil, to up my Folate to 4 mcg and that I can bring my Vitamin D down to just what is in the prenatal. She said to drink 8 8oz glasses of water every day, only to eat well-cooked meats, no deli meats unless they are heated to steaming. I think that's it!

Weirdest Thing I ate this week: Hmmmm, probably nothing too out of the ordinary. The building catered in Brownie's Hamburgers for the annual 4th of July celebration. I ate a hot dog, a cheeseburger with extra pickles, baked beans and coleslaw. It was delicious. I passed on the cookies and soda. I don't want to give this baby too much sugar.

Verse I'm Clinging To This Week: Numbers 26:24-26 "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”

Made it past a week of knowing!

Originally written June 22, 2017.

This first week of knowing I am pregnant has been surreal. Sharing the news with the people who have prayed the hardest and seen me cry the most tears over the last 5 years has been so amazing. I can feel their continued prayers every day.

Dave has been slow coming around to acknowledging the pregnancy. But today when he kissed me goodbye he briefly touched my belly too (might have been on accident, but it was with both hands so I'm counting it ;)).

I always assumed that this early in the pregnancy (5 weeks and 5 days today) that women didn't feel anything, except maybe a little morning sickness. I haven't felt nauseous at all. But I have been avoiding some things in the fridge that would usually be my go-to.

The day before I found out I was pregnant I cut up a fresh pineapple and portioned it out with cottage cheese. Well, all 3 servings have been sitting there ever since. I just can't bring myself to eat cottage cheese or pineapple.

The tiredness is for real. I've been working a ton - logged 59 hours last week in the office. So some of this may be unrelated to pregnancy, but as soon as I get home, I get in bed. It's even painful for me to make myself something to eat. Some nights I just want to skip food and crawl into bed. And for the most part, I've been sleeping hard at night. Sunday night before getting the 2nd beta back, I had a hard time staying asleep due to anxiety, but since getting that call, I've slept like a rock.

Bellyaches and pains. These are unexpected. They don't feel like period cramps. And today I haven't had many at all. Yesterday was a different story. All day I had aches and twinges in my belly and back. At times it felt like I was squishing one ovary at a time. And at different times, my back ached. None of it felt like my normal period cramps. But by 11pm (we saw the musical Matilda last night), I was convinced something was wrong. I was so relieved to not have any spotting and to sleep like a rock and wake up this morning and feel better.

Anxiety - maybe because this is my 3rd pregnancy, my anxiety has been through the roof some days. Today has been awesome though. I really enjoy reading Jesus Calling and looking up the scriptures for the day in my Bible.

I can feel the prayers of my friends lifting me and this baby up.

I am SO grateful for this pregnancy. I'm letting go of anxiety and embracing calm.

A Mom....What????

Originally written June 16, 2017

SCREEEEEEEEECH!!!!!!!!

Everything I've been thinking and trying to wrap my head around for the last 7 weeks, since the morning of April 26, when Dave told me he was ready to stop trying for a child, comes to a screeching halt when we unveil the ClearBlue Digital pregnancy test that I had wrapped up in toilet paper at least 30 minutes earlier. It was only Day 32 of my cycle. I wasn't terribly late. But last month my cycle was only 28 days, and it's usually 29 days when I'm not on any hormones. So on Day 31 we took a test and got this

....very helpful, funny. Dave asked, "uhm, what does that mean?" And I jokingly said, "I think it means we need to read more books." But as cycle day 31 went on, I thought about that test with the little book blinking in the right-hand corner. And I found it suspicious. Usually these ClearBlue Digital tests are not shy about telling me I'm "Not Pregnant." But I did go running right before I took this test. And I sweat alot, so not tons of pee came out on the strip. So whatever, we looked at eachother and said "That was a waste of money, we'll do it again in the morning if I haven't started by then."

But here we were, half sitting half laying in bed, holding a test that said "Pregnant." Literally 7 weeks to the day that we were half sitting half laying in bed, when my husband told me he was ready to stop, ready to stop any and all fertility meds, ready to stop with the ovulation predictor kits. I even muttered the word vasectomy, not now, but maybe later this summer. And now, here we are. Is this for real? I literally laughed, mostly with joy, but also with utter disbelief at the timing and the irony of the situation.

First step - go get labwork done. We've been through this twice before, with unfortunate results. But our first step, it came back great. The nurse actually said "Your numbers look beautiful!" This is the same nurse that had had the horrible job of calling me back in February 2016 and saying my progesterone was very low and I needed to leave work immediately and go to Econopharmacy at 91st street and pick up progesterone suppositories and start them right away. She was the same nurse that called in October 2016 and said that my progesterone looked a little better than last time, but the human growth hormone wasn't what they would have expected for as far along as I was. But yesterday, she was thrilled.

Second step - is tomorrow. I'm praying for peace, praying for calm. Praying the butterflies beating away at my stomach to please retreat. Calm down. I am praying for another wonderful call. So that I can cross this hurdle we've never crossed before.

Ahhhhh! I'm so excited :)

Monday Morning - I woke up with an eye twitch. And I had some bad dreams. So I put on my workout clothes and went for a long walk. I said lots and lots of prayers and tried to be positive, very positive. I made it to work at 8, and shut my door right away, knowing that when I received that phone call I didn't want anyone else to be in my office. Thankfully, the nurse called at 8:35, and she said "Belinda, your numbers look beautiful. They more than doubled." (AHHHHH!!!! I think my eye started twitching even faster, and I might have told her to shut up.)

She said that puts me at just over 5 weeks pregnant, and she wants me to come in next week for an ultrasound to hear the baby's heartbeat. And the due date is February 19, 2018. I am freaking out. So excited. In disbelief, but overwhelming gratitude for this unexpected gift and change in my "new" plans.